It’s a double pack and it’s spring scented!!

Oh how I hate to play basketball with douchebags! There is this one guy that plays up where I play down here in Dallas. He is a douchebag. All he does is talk, do a no look pass when he is checking in the ball (wtf?), and then hang out behind the three point line telling people what to do and what they are doing wrong. If you have ever played with me and my friend Skoal (Cole) then you know that this is one thing that bugs us the most. We have nicknames for guys like these… it’s Coach K. This guy never takes it to the hole, he plays in cargo shorts (the same ones everyday) and then has like rock climbing shoes that he plays in. He think he is a stud in every aspect of the game and he is far from that by every mean. I’ve played with him the past two weeks and Sunday night was the first time he ever gaurded me (mind you, he has talked shit to me once or twice previous to this encounter). So this was a pleasant surprise to see him gaurding me. I dominated him. I drove on him, I posted him up, I busted in his eye on several occasions. It was glorious. He told me I was only going to score two points on him this one game and I ended up scoring like 7 counting out loud everytime I scored. Anyways, the moral of the story… don’t be a douchebag and run your mouth if you can’t back it up especially if you were to face someone one on one and get dominated…. word!

 +    + ME =

Keep swinging that pimp hand strong….

Quote of the Day

“We’ve already allowed gay couples to get married and adopt kids just to turn other people’s children gay…”   

               – Stephen Colbert, T.V. Personality

I have noticed that since moving down to Dallas and really having nothing to do on the weekdays, I have gotten into quite the groove. Here is my daily routine for pretty much everyday day on the work week….

Starting in the A.M.

7:20 – (I’m sleeping on the couch) First alarm sounds and I hit the snooze

7:29 – Second alarm sounds and I hit the snooze

7:38 – Third alarm sounds and I get up and make my way toward the bathroom

7:39 – 7:50 – Prep myself for work that day… usually consiting of brushing my teeth, washing my face, getting dressed, and doing my hair which I don’t really do anymore

7:51 – Turn on Sportscenter just in time to catch the Top 10 of the Day

7:59 – Leave for work

8:07 – 8:32 – Fight through Dallas traffic just to make it to work on time, which I usually don’t

8:36 – 5:28 – Surf the internet checking facebook, myspace, email, and any other website worthy of my time and at this juncture of my internship… any website is worthy of my time except the ones I can get in trouble for looking at. At 11:00 a.m and again at 3:00 p.m. I eat a peanut butter and honey sandwich and drinking tea, water, and coffee throughout the day.


5:31 – Head for home

6:10 – Get home frustrated from the traffic, and flip on the t.v. to FX and watch “That 70’s Show” 

6:30 – Head to the gym to play basketball 


8:30 – Get back from the gym and drink many glasses of water, take a shower, and get ready for bed. I’ll eat dinner sometime after this and dinner is usually like a sandwich of some sort or maybe a tortilla with cheese and that’s usually it.

10:00 – Flip back and forth between ESPN and the Food Network watching Sportscenter and Good Eats w/ Alton Brand.


10:30 – Watch the Colbert Report on Comedy Central

11:00 – Turn off the t.v. and go to sleep only to repeat what happened the day before (kind of like Groundhog Day with Bill Murray)

Ending in the P.M.

I usually don’t deviate from the path much and if I do it is usually at work when I actually have work to do and then I try to extend that work to make it a whole days woth in order to have something to do throughout the day. But that is my life in a nutshell whilst here in Dallas for the summer until July 28th. Looking forward to the school year actually. Weird.

It’s gonna be a scorcher. A scorcher? Yep, like yesterday….

On the Colbert Report last night, Stephen was all excited about how the United States Soccer team were Co-World Cup champions because we were the only team to play Italy and not lose. We kicked half of their ass by letting them kick the ball into their own goal. Take that Italy… welcome to the world of sharing. He went on to say that the way to decide the champion of the World Cup in penalty shoot out is the equivelent to the NBA finals deciding a champion in a game of H-O-R-S-E.

(in case you didn’t know what a horse was, the arrow is there for your assistance)

Thank you Stephen Colbert.


In other news, you’re the devil…

Am I a Soccer Fan?

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love the World Cup

(brought to you by ESPN’s “Page 2” writer Bill Simmons)

1. I like watching anything that lets you say, “Hey, these guys are the absolute best of the best.” That’s why pro soccer will never catch on here: Nobody wants to watch a bunch of second-rate guys playing a sport that isn’t that interesting in the first place. Fundamentally, it can’t work. You have a better chance of uncovering a Star Jones-Al Reynolds sex tape.

2. These games feel like life or death. No, really. When the Colombian defender was murdered after 1994’s World Cup, the stakes were set: Screw up and you may die. You can see it on everyone’s face. After Argentina’s OT goal, the shell-shocked coach of Mexico looked as if he’d gotten a terminal diagnosis from his doctor. I half expected him to start hastily scribbling a will. For most of the countries involved, soccer is the equivalent of baseball + football + basketball here, if those sports came around only one month every four years. You can feel the tension. It’s suffocating. The winners are relieved, the losers decimated. There’s no in-between.

3. The red card/yellow card thing. Nonsensical, completely arbitrary, even crooked to some degree … I love it. Why hasn’t the NBA adopted this yet? Can you imagine how many yellows and reds the Mavericks would have gotten in the Finals?

4. There’s something fascinating about the underlying baggage in every game. My buddy Kurt e-mailed me last week, “If you’re a Nazi war criminal who escaped the Allied forces after WWII, who do you root for tomorrow: Germany, who propelled you to the top of their system, or Argentina, who took you in and helped hide your crimes against humanity?”

5. The postgame ritual of players exchanging sweaty jerseys cracks me up. Imagine if some Czech guy, drenched from running around in 95-degree heat for an hour and a half, handed you his shirt. Ah, gee, thanks … Can’t wait to put this in my duffel … No, really, this is great.

6. The whole player-with-one-name thing is fantastic. Nene tried to start the trend in the NBA, but it never caught on. There’s still time. Carmelo should legally drop his last name. So should LeBron. And the Clippers’ center should just go by Kaman.

7. You know my Remote Control Test that says you can’t deny someone’s or something’s appeal if you can’t flick the channel when he/she/it is on? (Like when some Sox fans wanted to trade Manny last season, I asked: Do you turn the channel when he comes up? No? Then why trade someone like that?) Well, no matter how you feel about soccer, would you ever turn the channel right before penalty kicks to decide an elimination game? Ever? In a million years?

Luis Figo

Darko Vojinovic

8. Everyone makes fun of the flopping, and it is hideous, but it’s also funny as hell. These guys drop like they were gunned down by a sniper, then they roll around for 10 seconds in absolute agony, heroically hop up and limp around to “shake it off,” and within 30 seconds they’re running full speed again. Even Ric Flair didn’t sell pain so well. More important, it’s the one thing that will keep soccer from ever, ever, ever becoming a bona fide force in this country. Americans won’t stomach such dishonesty. We see right through it. No way Dwyane Wade pulls that crap; we’d never allow it. OK, bad example.

9. The whole injury-time thing. I mean, what other sport keeps some arbitrary amount of extra time in an official’s back pocket? It’s so stupid yet weirdly effective. I’m convinced the guy who came up with that was drunk.

10. I have enjoyed soccer’s partisan songs and chants since “Victory,” when the crowd inspired Sly Stallone to stone Werner Roth’s penalty kick. Yes, part of it is that soccer fans need to invent ways to kill time because so little actually happens. But you have to admire their creativity. It makes you wonder why we don’t have more chants and songs for our sports. “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” brings down the house every time, right? So why stop there? We can’t muster enough brainpower to do anything but sing along to crappy music that blares from the PA? We should make chants for goal-line stands, for closers looking for one more out, for opposing players shooting free throws. Instead, we settle for an expletive (the one involving cattle) after bad calls. What’s wrong with us?

Friends, Laughter, Sharing…

712.6 miles later, and I am back at work in Irving. Friday, I left work around 12:30 and headed for Stillwater. My mom’s birthday is today and we had a surprise party for her last night at my aunts. So instead of staying down here and just driving up Sunday and then having to drive back that night, I went up to Stillwater and hung out for the weekend. It was a blast and it makes me wish I lived up there for the summer. Friday night, we all went out to Joseph’s (Eskimo Joe’s). It was a good time and but they did raise the price of brew from $1.00 a cup to the inconvenient $1.50 a cup. So that came as an unpleasant surprise. Saturday morning came and I have found that after I drink, i can never sleep in like most everybody. I woke up around 10:00 and of course with a headache and just layed there for 2 hours. then kurtis and i did some bike riding around town. it was a solid bike ride. then saturday night, we went to walmart and got hamburger stuff and we grilled out hamburgers. it was outstanding and a good showing too. christine, joel, kurtis, scott, britnee, me, and steffen came later. that was our 2nd time to use our grill that we’ve had for a year now so it was fun. we lit the tiki torches and sat out there for a few hours and just hung out. it was a good time. sunday, i woke up early, packed, made my bed and then headed out. my moms birthday party was next. she loved it. all of her friends and family was there… she turned 50 today. she cried alot and her and my dad got a cruise as a gift from everyone. i got back to dallas at 12:30 this morning so i am really tired… back to spider solitaire or ebay or something…. deuces!


ok, so since i havent done anything at work for the past two days… this is what i have been doing pretty much. some things im thinking about purchasing but probably not. here goes….

a sirius radio with a car kit and a home kit….. quite an investment. of course i wouldnt be listening to coldplay because that’s how you know you’re gay.

a fossil watch (not actually this big) the only thing i dont like is the numbers, but still kind of cool.


old school nike kicks… i have to find these first because they arent anywhere online

the ones i want are kind of like these except the grey would be navy… minus the grey part on the bottom which would still be either grey or white.


WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A fantastic start to the day. I walk out, the normal time 7:55, and only to find out that I can’t find my truck. It is nowhere to be found. I walk each floor of the parking garage (5) and I could have sworn I drove it yesterday and parked it.So now, I am already late for work and I call the police to figure out if it was stolen or towed or whatever… come to find out, it was towed. Lovely! So now, I got to figure out how to get over there and get my truck from those bastards. I start the weekend in a bad mood, missing a day of work, and poor because all my damn money is going to the tow company. EXPLICATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the Knights of Columbus!

Usually, Kurtis gets to his work before I get to work down here in Dallas. I don’t know whether it is because he has to be in at 7:00 or because we are in different time zones. I digress, he has been good about writing me emails so that when I come into work at 8:30, I have something to read from Kurtis. Sometimes it’s the 3 surveys I wrote him after he got off work the day before, or sometimes it is just a good morning email (which is always nice). Yesterday, I decided I’d return the favor with a good morning note to him. So I sat down yesterday (i was sitting previously to that because i dont do anything at work, but it helps the story flow) and began writing kurtis the good morning note and i found it to be very difficult to write. It wasnt difficult in the sense that i had nothing to write about, but difficult because i was writing about the future in present tense. if you dont know what im talking about, here is an example, it is 4:30 pm and you are writing to the person who is going to be reading it at 7:30 am the next morning,

“You should also have some of my surveys and I expect to see them returned today (tomorrow) sometime since me and you are the only ones that do these dumb things. I may even create a survey if I get bored today (tomorrow).”

It was so confusing for me to write so I can only imagine how confusing it was to read especially 7:30 in the morning. As I was writing this, i was thinking, “man, i know how michael j. fox felt in all those “back to the future” movies. he must have been in a world of hurt as he was talking to his parents back in the past in present tense when speaking about the future. He had to travel, by himself, through the time continuem a number of times in his 1982 DeLorean running only on banana peels, beer cans, and old brown lettuce.  No wonder he has parkinson’s disease now. The loop holes he and Doc found must have messed up his genetics and now he has the shakes. I guess that’s what you get when you mess with Biff.

“The Enchantment Under the Sea”

This morning on the way to work as i was fighting downtown Dallas traffic there was only one picture that I had in my mind the entire time, besides the semi’s “am i a good driver? call 1-800-brake4u” sign in front of me…. was frogger.

This was all I could think of as i was trying to get on the highway and cross 6 lanes to get in the far left to get onto another highway a mile down the road. It is an intense game i like to play in the mornings only the frog is me in my truck. Its a rush because one bad move and you’re toast, my friend, toast. The one thing you gotta watch out for is you caring what other people think. That just doesnt fly in dallas, you cut people off you speed by them, give them an unfriendly honk. In order to get to work on time, you have to have complete disregard as to what other people think and feel. Until tomorrow, pending my boredom later today, cheers!


let’s start with this past weekend… i didnt do a dang thing. friday, i got off work around 3 in the afternoon and headed home. saturday rolls around and john and i both went to get a hair cut and then went to the mall to get accessories for john’s newly bought ipod. it is a nice mall and i dont even know the name of it. i didnt get anything because i am poor right now and i only have enough money to buy gas to get to work. when we got home, we went to the pool and apparently that is the party joint. everyone was out there swimming and drinking. it was nuts. that night we went to this mexican place called “chuwy’s” with one of johns coworkers and it was pretty good. sunday, john left for wisconsin and i just went outside to swim and get a tan and then i worked out. nothing much else to do really by myself. that was my weekend in a nutshell. dumb!

no coke count: 7 days

ill think of something creative to write about later…. sorry